You jokes
Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.
So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"
Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
"Can I tell you a paper joke?" I said, "But it is pretty terrible."
What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter; he's not coming.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
Did you hear about the deaf man who got a ticket?
It's OK, he didn't either!
Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?
It's ok, he didn't either!
What do you call a Jedi that can use the force to fly?
A Jedi Flight.
What do you eat out of?
- A bowl.
Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs?
Where you left it.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A one-eyed fish, you smart ass!
What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.