You jokes
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
What did the Arch bridge say to the Truss bridge?
"I Truss-ted you!"
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!
Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.
A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.
Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.
A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."
What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”
What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill you?
A pool table.
What do you call an Asian? A-chan.
Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted?
It was quite a shocker.
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?
Wrapped around that tree.
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.