You jokes
I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.
What number is better than 69?
88 'cause you get ate twice.
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
What’s the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
What do you call an army of disabled people?
Special forces.
This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.
There are 206 bones in my body.
When I look at you, it becomes 207.
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
What do you call an Israeli strike against Gaza?
A Kike Strike!
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
'Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C.
Wanna play shark attack? I eat, you scream!
What happens when you have dry elbows at work?
You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.
Have you heard of the current event in Africa?
It’s known as the Hunger Games.
Did you know? The most Black Holes in the Universe are all found in Africa!
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
What do you call a Mexican with an m3?
A greaser.
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.