You jokes
Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them... But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
I don't know?!?
What do you call a bum person with a brain?
A hillbilly.
My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him, "Omelette you do your egg jokes."
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No, he hasn't either.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
How do you stop a baby from crying?
Throw a brick in its mouth.
What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?
Gracias.
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
What do you call a retard?
"Kahin."
Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, he just WAVED.
Did you SEA what I did there?
GUY: Yes
Are you SHORE?
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
This is mean af. Y'all need to stop this. Like, what the f *ck? What would happen if you all grew up and you were like this? Like, damn.
Q: Have you ever felt a window?
A: Did you feel the pane?
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.