Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."
You Jokes
You're a bish, and you are too!
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
No, you!
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
If you don’t know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!
You give some people 2.54 centimeters, and they take 1.6 kilometers.
1st Person: Do you want to know something funny?
2nd Person: Yeah, sure!
1st Person: I don’t know, I’m German!
Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?