What do you call a rich white man? Cracker with Cheese!
You Jokes
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!
Did you hear about the guy who made knock-knock jokes? He won the Nobel Prize.
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.
When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"
How do you execute a retard?
The Electric Wheelchair.
How do you cut the sea in half?
With a sea-saw.
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.
Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"
What do you call a washed vegetable?
A disabled kid that needs a towel.
Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them... But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
I don't know?!?
What do you call a bum person with a brain?
A hillbilly.
My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him, "Omelette you do your egg jokes."