I can't handle these puns...
But I can HAND you some puns!
Budum tiss!
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
How do you confuse a ginger?
Throw a cross at them.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean Beef.
What do you call a person whose heart stopped?
Dead.
Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"
I wish you guys all died.
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
What do you call a pessimistic Mexican?
A Mexican't.
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
What do you call a stupid turtle?
Retorted.
You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.
I was going to tell you a cow joke...
But it's pasture bed time.
How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
Stick toast to the ceiling.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
