Jesus walks into a motel, throws 3 nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for a night?"
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
Why don't you shower with a Pokemon? He might Pikachú.
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.
What are you on? YouTube.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?
There is a small medium at large.
Have you ever been eight before?
You were between 7 and 9.
You know chords, right? Well, you know what I love to do? To play with A-minor. You know, feel your fingers on A-minor. Gives you a sense of power, to just F A-minor.
But that's not my favorite thing to fiddle with. That would be the D of minors. It's just solid, you know. If you're clever you can have the D of minors into the C of minors. Or, though a bit tricky, the D of minors into the B of minors.
And at this point you've gotten the point and if I want to continue it would be a bit of a stretch.
You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut.
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.
The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."
