You jokes
Fuck you people who made those jokes! (but some were funny but the starving one is messed up!)
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
How do you poop?
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?
Woman: No, really?
Man: Well, the one I fucked did...
How do you make Holy Water?
Get regular water and boil the devil out of it.
Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"
I said, "On a stove!"
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."
Are you beef?
Because you're Carlos-Asada.
Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?
She called for a price check.
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.
Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?
By cutting off her fingers.
How do you know that the U.S. sucks at chess?
They lost two towers.