Weedle will make you high.
Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I answered, "Happy."
The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.
What do you call a fat midget?
A pig.
How do you kill a little boy?
You throw him between two Catholic priests.
I would tell you a joke about pizza,
but it's too cheesy.
Well, I don't have a joke but... I have a poem.
My dick is red, your pussy is blue. I... lied to you.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
What do you call a pile of cats? A MEOW-tain.
You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?
Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
Have you seen the new movie "Constipated"?
No, it hasn't come out yet.
What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?
Girls are like blackjack; you shoot for 21, but I keep hitting 14.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!
Three Europeans come to America. They are all captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With Doritos!
Have you ever heard of the eye tear?
Me either.
