You jokes
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
Daddy.
Doctor: "I have good news and I have worse news." Patient: "Well, what's the bad news?" Doctor: "You have one day left to live." Patient: "What news could possibly be worse?" Doctor: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday!"
I will always remember my grandpa's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
What do you call a white man in court?
SUPERIOR!
All these oranges, but you're still the one for me.
Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.
What's the difference between a baby and a ball?
If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.
How do you make a cat go "woof"?
... douse it in gasoline and set it on fire! "woof!"
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking Fanta make you fantastic?
There's an old lady doing gardening every year. Nothing grows. She goes to the man who lives next door. She says, "How do you get your tomatoes so big and red?" He tells her, "You show them your privates at night time." So she leaves. That night later, she goes outside and shows the garden her privates. The next day she's got zucchinis a meter long!
Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"
Wanking.
If you want a joke, look at yourself in the mirror!
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Sun: Hi, I am the sun! I want to warm you up......
Human: :D
Sun: I want to BuRn you.........
Human: .......
Sun: I want to...... KILL...... you.....
Human: I should be going now.
Sun: LET ME KILL YOU!
Human: *Screams his last sound*