You jokes
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.
You really gay. No questions added.
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
Who do you call to clean up foul language?
A cuss-todian!
A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordon Ramsay's F-king cooking show!
Husband: "Stop watching that f-king sh*t! You can't cook to save your life!"
Wife: "So what?! You watch porn, don't you?!"
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
Do you know the shortest joke about Titanic?
*Splash!*
What did the cannibal say to the other?
"Can I practise on you?"
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year.
Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, I give you bad luck for 7 years.
Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
"You suck. I don't wanna be married anymore ://////"
Boy, you gay?
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
The Man: "Sonny, why do you come to get some milk every day?"
The Son: "Because milk is important."
The Man: "Why don't you ever come with your mom?"
The Boy: "Who?"
The Man: "Your mom?"
The Boy: "I don't have a mom."
The Man: "I'm sorry for your loss."
The boy stared for a moment when two men came out of the vehicle and picked up the boy.
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
Friend: I got bit.
Other friend: By what?
Friend: A dog.
Other friend: (Runs away and the next day you know everyone is wearing a mask and the friend gets expelled because of rabies.)
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.