You jokes

I would tell you a joke about a clock, but it’s a waste of time! 😄😄

Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.

So this guy we talked to wanted me to leave forever, and we said, "What? You never want to hear from me again?"

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food??

Neither have they.

Have you ever had African water??

Neither have they.

What do you call a dick playing badminton?

A shuttlecock.

What do you call a band made of cheese?

Grate That!

What do you call a clever clock?

Clockwise.

What did the dick say to the asshole?

You need another dick.

Whats the difference between NASA and religion

NASA takes you through space Religion takes you through two towers

What do you call a five year old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

How can you tell if your sister is on her period?

Your father's dick tastes funny.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Licka-lotta-puss.

You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.

Did you hear about the guy who invented the first knock knock joke?

He won the No Bell Prize!

Did you know that when pigeons have sex, they die?

Really?

Well, the one I fucked did.

Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?

Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...

I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"

A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.

He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."

He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."

Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."