"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"But I'm not dead yet!"
"But we're not there yet."
What’s the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend...
You get to meet Chris Hansen!
Never eat more than you can lift.
Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.
I would tell you a joke about a clock, but it’s a waste of time! 😄😄
Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.
So this guy we talked to wanted me to leave forever, and we said, "What? You never want to hear from me again?"
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
Have you ever had Ethiopian food??
Neither have they.
Have you ever had African water??
Neither have they.
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
What did the dick say to the asshole?
You need another dick.
Whats the difference between NASA and religion
NASA takes you through space Religion takes you through two towers
What do you call a five year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
How can you tell if your sister is on her period?
Your father's dick tastes funny.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Licka-lotta-puss.
You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the first knock knock joke?
He won the No Bell Prize!
