Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
You Jokes
What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?
A bone-étit.
Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again?
Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw the baby.
Do you think the founder of Dunlop was a retired tree surgeon or a hairdresser?
Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts lolololol hahahahah.
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
Look in the mirror. There's a joke for you.
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!
Q. How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?
A. Depends how thin you slice them.
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?
Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.
You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?
Go look in the mirror.
What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?
Ashtraynauts.
Two mates walk into a bar.
Mate 1: "Shit! Look at that spider over there!"
Mate 2: "Whateverrrrrrr."
Mate 1: "No, seriously, it's bloody massive!"
Mate 2: "(Turns around) Shit, that's huge, I thought you were joking."
Mate 1: "No, I'm Fred King, Jo King's brother ;-)"
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