You Jokes

Dyslexic

What is the reason for the first time since I've seen a lot to be desired in the morning? To you, eat ass...

Cat

A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”

The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”

Guess who dies next.

  • 0
  • Girl

    In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."

  • 2
  • House

    What do you call it when Portericans surround your house?

    A spicket fence!

    Boss

    When you're fucking your boss's daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.

  • 2
  • People

    Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?

    Yeah, they went through 80 stories in seconds.

    Hate

    I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.

    Bullying

    WTF is wrong with you guys? This is bullying. Stop it, please, but Shaenaya sounds like a good name.

    Goat

    Goats are like mushrooms.

    If you shoot a cat, I'm scared of toasters.

  • 3
  • Kid

    What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?

    Pot roast.

  • 2
  • Cancer

    We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.

    My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."

    People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol.

    Cancer

    We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.

    My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."

    People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

    Cancer

    We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.

    My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

    We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

    Cancer

    A player in Baldi's Basics says, "Why are you bald?"

    Baldi responds, "Well, I have cancer."

    The player says, "Oh, good for you!"

    Cancer

    So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.