You jokes
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.
Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week."
They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."
That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...
Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
Who are you?
Yourself.
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
Read this word:
Heroine.
Did you read it like the drug or like a female superhero?
What happens if you sit under a cow?
You get a pat on the head.
What do you call mo on a dating website? Tissue face.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
"P,u!"
"P,u who?"
"P,u, you smell like shit!"
Knock knock. Who's there? You... You who? You smell like shit!
A happy mother: "Why is your sister so quiet?! And how did you get super glue stuck on your penis?!"
Why do you make fun of disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.
Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide
What do you play Fallout 4 with low health?
You Fallout.