You jokes

In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.

What do you call a PEIS?

When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Lickalotopuss

If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.

Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?

I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.

That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?

What do you call a 100-year-old frog?

An old croak!

When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”

He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”

What did the knight say to his younger brother? "Good night."

You expected a silly pun there, didn't you? That's pretty rude. It makes light of the struggles of being a knight. Especially a good knight.

Q: What do you call a sad soda?

A: Soda-pressing.

What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!

How do you throw a space party?

You planet! 🤣🤣🤣

Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.

There are 6 kinds of vitamins. Wanna know how the 6th vitamin was made? Just ask the Ku Klux Klan, they will tell you.

Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said, "Honey, I'm flat chested." The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex.

The next day, the wife said, "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said, "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."

A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.

She replied "Oh fuck off, you won't bring it back!"

What do you call a Native American with a boner?

A redwood.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Olive.

Olive who?

I love you!