Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.
So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.
But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."
So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.
This was the best day of my life.
This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.
I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...
Where are you right now?
Looking at a fake joke? You are a waste of time and space.
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What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat
Did you hear about the dead artist?
Too many strokes.
When you are losing at Tetris, I guess the odds are STACKED against you.
If you are on here, don’t hate. There will be rude ones, but it doesn’t matter.
Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.
What do you call a magician with no magic? A dyslexic c**t.
Friend: Do you know him?
Other Friend: Know who?
Friend: My dick!
I asked my dad , Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head? He replied, Because I thought it would look like hares
Have you eaten at the restaurant on the Moon? It's got good food, but no atmosphere.
How old are you...? I don’t give a shit, stfu and get in ma van.
“NO NO NO”
I’ll give you some candy.
“Oh ok🤩”
Is crummy bears alright??
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
Did you hear the one about the hills?
It was hillarious.
A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."
When it is quiet when you're having sex and you ask your partner to "Do the roar!"
