Are you wearing a diaper? Because your butt looks so saggy.
You Jokes
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."
So I said, "But which one?"
Have you heard of the... uh Pokemon called uh rhy... rhy... Rhydon deez nuts?
GF: What did you use as kissing when you were little?
Me: My sister.
SWEET HOME ALABAMAA
Guy feels something on his back.
“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”
“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”
Catholic men say eating broccoli is like anal sex.
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you probably won’t like it as an adult.
Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming.
You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.
How do you call a cop?
Through the phone.
(My puns are bad)
What do you do with a dead chemist?
You Ni-tro-gen!
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!
Do you wanna hear a Gay Joke...
Butt fuck it.
This is a lot like anal sex.
You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
What job do you want if you don't want people's twos since?
A Catholic priest.
Do you like fish sticks?
If you do, you're a gay fish.
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.