You are in the airway, how funny!
You Jokes
Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie!
Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."
You need to fuck off with this website. It's shit.
How do you fit 53 babies into a box?
First get a blender...
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.
What do you call a knight that has one arm? A first battle night.
What do you call a knight that lost both arms? A two battle useless knight.
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
If you have cancer, you are gay.
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
Do you like all the jokes I’ve been “cracking?”
Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: .....it...
Friend: No
Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!
Friend: Why are you like this?
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
I was staying over at my friend's; for the purpose of the joke, he shall be called Kian. It was 03:00 am and everyone else was asleep when I heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it. Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge; it was thought he had a huge slong.
The banging was getting louder, and so too was my heartbeat. I opened John's door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked. There was a glory hole through the wall where I could make it Kian's ass. This is what I have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts, which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards John. I shoved [my] 1-inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, "You little gimp, get on the bed."
Kian came in the room with a 2-litre bottle of Irn Bru. He demanded, "What the fudge are you doing?"
I replied smoothly, "Kian, you tracksuit warrior, you have a camel toe!"
Kian fires back, "Shut it, Paul, you have genital warts!"
John screams, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
He then gives us it so rough I can't walk the next day, but [I] feel pleasured for eternity.
By Lewis