You Jokes

Strap

You're walking into a bar and you see 2 younger kids around 18. You call the manager to have them removed, but no one came down.

Later that night, you see the 2 18-year-olds, 1 was a girl and the other was a boy, so you call the manager down. No one came again. You confront them and tell them to leave, but one turns around and hits you. You are knocked out on the floor. When you wake up, there is a hard feeling in your a**. You turn your head around and there is an autistic girl with a strap-on in your a** going full on hard.

Shat

Your mom shat you out after having Taco Bell. That’s why she calls you a little shat.

Evidence

If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.

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  • Rose

    Roses are red, Violets are blue, Everything is black, I can't see, can you?

    Magic

    Them: You want some Lucky Harms?

    Me: What are Lucky Harms?

    Them: They're Lucky Charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.

    Dream

    Last night I had a dream of lead, but your mom won't let me tell you.

    Tuna

    What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.

    (The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.

    Pencil

    Where do you go if you lost a pencil?

    Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.

    Cheetah

    What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?

    You can't beat a cheetah!

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  • Karma

    So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."

    Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."

    And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."

    I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜