Q. What do you call a goose that thinks he's a goat?
A. A Billy Goose.
You Jokes
What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?
A plane wingless.
"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"
"I hear you asking, 'What's your favorite instrument?' The Trombone."
Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡
Last night I burned down an orphanage.
There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
Where do you find the best comedians?
In the funny farm!
You could say ancient Egyptians and JDM car fans are alike--they both worship Datsun.
You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.
Two fish in a bowl. First fish asks, "Haven't I seen you around here before?"
The second fish replies, "F**k me, a talking fish!"
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?
•Terminal
Leprechauns are stupid. No joke.
Are you a toaster?
I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!
You a cunt.
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
What do you call a cat 🐈 that is glued down? A big cluck.
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead, so are you.
(I have no friends because all of my friends play Fortgay, just like my friends all of them are gay.)
What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.