What is a pirate's favorite letter?
A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.
Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid
Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help!
Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said
RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)
Daniel commited suicide five years ago today......
Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."
Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
A man is consoling his nine year old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted,
"You need to be more careful" he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
Apparently as a 4-year old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest. Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
I like my men like i like my whiskey. irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxegen.
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
I like my women how I like my wine.
14 years aged and locked in a cellar.
My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago but ahe didnt tell me what it was........anyways im turning 14 next month.
A wife was cleaning 12-year-old son’s bedroom When she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags, she asked her husband, “what do we do?” The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”
Yo mama soo ugly!, * The mime* Broke his 30 year streak of silence!!!!
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? -- One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father? because Roman Catholic men between 18 - 29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole
many years of sex in the dark. The wife find out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says "explain the dildo prick" the husband says "explain the children bitch"!
*A priest walks into a wine store*
"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."
A man was asked by his 21 years old daughter, " Dad how do you give a blowjob to a man that has a big "dick"? her father replied " honey, you should have watch me last night - it was inside my mouth, does it cycle now?"
A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house. So she stuck her head outside and heard 'Hairy butt', so she named the House hairy butt. The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him. So she stuck her head outside and heard 'crack, so she named the baby crack. After a year or two she lost him so she called the police and said'Help! I looked all over my hairy butt but I couldn't find my little crack.
