Year jokes

Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.

With their brother.

Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?

Because it was over 18 years old.

I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.

Happy New Year! 🍆🍑🍆🍑

Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.

Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?

Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)

One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"

A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.

What country has been the hottest in recent years?

Sri Lanka, they had 3 bombs in a day!

Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...

I must have at least 87 years of bad luck; every time I look in the mirror, it breaks!

Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.

Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?

Because it was High School.

What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?

"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"

Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?

Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...

What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?

They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”

Bin Laden was the hide and seek champion for 10 years, 2001-2011.

I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?" I replied.

"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.

Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.

My girlfriend called me a pedophile.

And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"

I like my women like I like my scotch:

12 years old and mixed with coke.