Year jokes
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but heβd have to wait 10 years to get it.
Happy New Year! ππππ
I must have at least 87 years of bad luck; every time I look in the mirror, it breaks!
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
Hey, Iβm not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When itβs my Birthday, and when itβs not...
Memes
What country has been the hottest in recent years?
Sri Lanka, they had 3 bombs in a day!
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.
Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?
Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?
Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?
Because it was over 18 years old.
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
I like my women like I like my scotch:
12 years old and mixed with coke.
"Let girls live" is 9 years old, OMG, right?
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
Who would win?
The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,
Or one horny Henry?
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.