My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.
The world exploded, so now I need to visit Uranus.
In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.
You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.
Why can't you tell anyone about space?
Because it's too out of this world!
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
how to solve world hunger and over population?
Cannibalism.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the World Trade Center.
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.
There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those that know binary and those that don't.
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, it was the world’s introduction to Sky Football
What's Gru's favorite Beyoncé lyric? "Who run the world... Gorls."
What kind of games do they play in Africa? The hunger games.
Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
