World Jokes

Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."

Boy: "What's that?"

Grandpa: "What's what?"

The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!

*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*

"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"

There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.

What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?

“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”

The image is divided into two parts. On the left, there is a picture of a cloud in the sky that casts a vertical shadow, circled in red. On the right, there is an image of a globe with two red circles around the support arms.

Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.

Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!

My granddad killed Hitler.

"Hello, this is your captain speaking. We are flying at a level of 89 feet. If you look out of your window on the left, you will see the World Trade Center."

China has a population of a billion people. One billion.

That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

The people in the Twin Towers, because they went through over 100 stories in less than 10 minutes.

"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."

"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."

Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.

Yes, the Queen has died today. Can the people of the world please finally tell Harry to stop cross-dressing as her?

I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world." Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jets versus towers, USA lost two.

I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.

My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."