I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded.
But it was only on paper view.
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
My cock was in the book of world records...
The librarian told me to take it out.
Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were on a falling airplane. There were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world,” so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually there are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”
Me: Have you ever tried African food?
You: No.
Me: They haven't either.
The "W" in African stands for water.
Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"
Me: "To reduce the population by one."
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
My dick was in the book of world records.
But then the librarian asked me to take it out.
when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)
-> in reality, :( (sob)
depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.
Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.
I'm telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution.
Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no.
Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?”
“Under my bench,” he replies.
How is the world like dirt?
Because we don't think twice about it.
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.
