World jokes
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.
Russia vs Ukraine be like that COD Modern Warfare mission. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
What is the smallest room in the world?
A mushroom.
In the realm of whispers and shadows, Where dreams dance on the edge of reality, There resides a peculiar soul, Known as Alexander Fisher.
With eyes that hold secrets untold, And a heart that beats to its own rhythm, He tiptoes through the night, On a quest to embrace the extraordinary.
His hands, delicate as a feather's touch, Reach out to the heavens above, Grasping at ethereal strands of wonder, In the form of vibrant, floating balloons.
With each step, the balloons whisper, Carrying tales of forgotten dreams, And the untamed yearnings of the heart, Alexander Fisher's silent companions.
He creeps through moonlit streets, An enigma in a world seeking answers, As the balloons trail behind him, Painting the night with magic's hues.
Together, they wander through the darkness, Where imagination blooms and thrives, In a delicate ballet of dreams, Alexander Fisher's fantastical symphony.
The world watches, captivated, By this balladeer of whimsical desires, As he weaves his spell, one balloon at a time, Enchanting souls with his ethereal art.
For in his delicate grasp, balloons become more, They transcend their earthly existence, Becoming vessels of hope and joy, Guiding hearts towards the realm of possibility.
Alexander Fisher, the dreamer, the poet, Creeps through life, a gentle force, With his balloons as his faithful companions, He reminds us to embrace the extraordinary.
Yo mama's so fat that she doesn't need the internet because she is already worldwide.
Madden, because tissue, I weep Tears like rivers, cascading deep In this world, so full of strife I find solace in this fragile life.
Oh tissue, tender and so pure, Absorbing pain, a whispered cure. Each tear that falls, you gently hold, A conduit for the stories untold.
In the quiet moments, I confide In your embrace, I can't hide The weight of sorrow, the burden's strain You're there, a balm for every pain.
But madden, oh how you disrupt, In your chaos, emotions erupt. You twist and tangle, hearts collide, Leaving us lost, unable to decide.
Yet even in your tangled mess, You bring forth growth, a rare finesse, For in the madness, we find our way To stand tall, facing a brand-new day.
So madden, meet tissue, ever entwined, In this dance of emotions, our souls aligned. Through tears and anger, joy and fears, We find strength, as life perseveres.
Short and sweet, this tale of strife, Unraveling souls, seeking life. Madden, because tissue, we may be, But we'll rise above, forever free.
How do you become with NATO? Promise no more world wars by secretly performing military practices behind their back.
The Yo Mama song to end all yo mama jokes.
If you know what song this is parodying, you get a cookie.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
Yo mama so fat, she gotta bathe in Sea World.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhhh, YO MAMA!
Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!
Yo mama so slow she took 9 months to get the joke.
Your own motheeer makes me giggle.
Her struggling to do taaaasks, see her belly wiggle.
HEY!
Yo mama so fat she on both sides o’the family.
Yo mama so inbred her own fam’ly tree
Looks like a spider web an’ yo mama so hairy
I thought it was King Kong I saw, that bitch is scary.
Yo mama so dumb a kid said “gimme a fag”
And in response she kidnapped Ricardo in a giant bag.
Yo mama so blind, she drove through puppies in a blunder
I swear I almost thought the driver was Stevie Wonder.
Yo mama so old, she’s nostalgic for the big bang.
Drier than Sahara, that crusty old thang.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
Yo Mama so fat her picture still printing out.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhhh, YO MAMA!
Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!
Yo mama so ugly I thought you had two dads.
MMMMMMM
ahhhhhh
ohhhohoh
Your own motheeer, your own motheeeeer’s pussy is tight.
It’s not too dryyy or weeet it’s just right.
Hey Mama!
I fucked her so hard, the bitch done passed out
but not before I creamed all over her and shout
“I’M FUCKING THESE MOMS ALL THE WAY TO HEAVEN!
Don’t care if she’s 20 or 77!
I’m doing all the moms all over the worl’
Even if they weren’t ‘riginally born a girl.
A pussy’s a pussy no matter who its from
Don’t care if that woman is smart or dumb!”
That’s the truth there, baby! Even if
yo mama too stupid to tell apart her own kid
or if she’s so fugly, she’s the reason why
Helen Keller, poor soul, went deaf and blind.
I want to fuck every MILF on Earth
it don’t matter how much her ass is worth
or if she’s so poor, coal on Christmas is a treasure
Would I fuck her anyway? It would be my pleasure.
My body count so high can’t nobody top me
She said, “I’ll call you Freddie Mercury cause I want you to rock me.”
I said, “aiight bet! Can’t nobody stop me!”
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
But yo mama still so poor Africans donate to her!
Top 1 best football player 🏈 in the world.
“The guy who tackles the Make-A-Wish kid!”
Jesus told the world if he had to pick a body all over again that he would pick himself! He believes he is (God's gift to this earth) the best looking, the smartest, pure perfection!
Hahaha LOL Jajaj.
And I Quote! "THAT'S WHY I PUT MYSELF NAKED ON THE CROSS IN CHURCHES TO SEE MY BODY !!!!"
GROSSEST, SCAREST, UGLIST, SLOPPY, DISRESPECTFUL, DISGUSTING, IT.
If he actually ate the bullshit that came out of his mouth, He wouldn't have made up satan! He wouldn't Rape us, He wouldn't embody us! He wouldn't try to be us! USING OUF VOICES! USING OUR SPIRIT!
Your mom uses the equator as a belt.
I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded. But it was only on paper view.
For every blonde in the world,
scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
Germany is the best!
Why can't you tell anyone about space?
Because it's too out of this world!
Q: What's the most popular dish in Africa?
A: The empty one!
When I was acting up, my mother used to tell me, "I brought you into this world, and I will take you out. I gave you life, and I can also take it." So my son was acting up and talking back to me. Now I'm being charged with murder. I don't understand. I thought it was okay to kill your own kids.
Chapter #1
“Hey Matthew, how is our world doing?” I asked Matthew through the mic. My name is Kai, and Matthew was my best friend and my brother, well, stepbrother. He lives with my dad along with Clara, my little sis. Matthew and I were born in the same year but with different parents. He is like my twin. Our birthday is the same, March, 21, 2009. Then Matthew responds, “It’s doing fine. I finished building the second floor of the house.” We were playing Minecraft java edition, in hardcore, so if we died, we would lose the world. We had made it so far in survival mode. Just then, I heard someone knocking on my door to my room. I went to go see who it was, but just as I got out of my chair, the computer made a weird sound, and I heard Matthew scream for help seconds before I was sucked into the computer.
Chapter #2 Survival
“Oof, that hurt,” I groaned. I looked down, and I almost fainted. I was in Minecraft. I had a dark blue shirt with dark, almost black, brown pants. The only problem was that if Matthew got sucked in the game, then where was he? Just then I heard a big boom. I looked behind me, and what I faced was a big crater. I walked to the crater and seen some wood planks plus brick, stone, and gate. Just at that moment, I realized that that was the house me and Matthew were building. Then I heard groaning, thinking it was a zombie, and not realizing that it was nighttime, I jumped into the crater. I peeked above the grass block and saw a person, tall, skinny, and had a girl shape to their body. I thought it was Matthew but realized it was a girl. The moonlight shone down on her. I had never seen her before. She was as tall as me and had black hair and dark blue eyes. Then behind me I heard something move. I looked behind me and found a zombie on a grass block, but it just fell down the crater into a puddle of lava. I tried not to laugh, but I burst out laughing “ha ha ha ha.” Then I heard the girl scream. I jumped up and seen a zombie about to eat her, but by then I had a crafting table and lots of wood and a couple of sticks. I quickly made a sword and lunged at the zombie, not out of saving the girl but also to save a person I can team up with and find Matthew with. I hit the zombie square through the back of its head. Then when it did not die and turned around I remembered zombies don’t die with one hit, but it did fall off the cliff that I realized was there, so I am pretty sure it was not going to come back. So I started walking, but just then the girl (whom I forgot was there) tried throwing me off the edge. Thankfully I got to the ground before she could throw me off the edge. When I got up, I was eye to eye with her. I could see that her eyes were blue just like sapphires. At that moment, both of us were frozen, standing there, and opened our mouths to talk, but before we could, she was cut off by an arrow hitting the tree next to us. “Come on, hurry!” I yelled. I ran into the hole where the Minecraft house used to be. By then, I had picked up some of the wooden planks that were still there and built a 4 x 4 house and pulled her into there and drew my sword (because I was so good at the game, so I made it fast). I looked out the window, that I had picked up and seen some skeletons and zombies. Surprisingly there was no creepers insight, well not for now anyway. We sat there for what seemed like forever no one talked; we just sat there until I saw the light of day. I crouched and slowly made my way outside. I stalked the perimeter and saw some zombies burning but nothing else. I made my way to the entrance of the little house, and I stopped in my tracks at what my house became right there in the doorway. There was a path down to the girl I saved, who was mining the dirt from the ground. I got out of the doorway and went to the crafting table and made a pickaxe, went down with the girl, and asked her if she found any coal, in reply I got a no. To be fair though she just hit stone. There was a lot of dirt where we were. We had been digging for a while, and it was now sunset by then I had gone out and got some wood and made the place a little bit bigger. We added a long chest, then put all the dirt and cobblestone we got into the chest. When night had fallen, I drew my sword and waited for the worst. Thankfully nothing came except a zombie. After the sun rose, I went out to get some more wood while she did some stuff in the wooden house. I had been thinking about Matthew and how the house blew up. Right then I thought it might be a griefer, so I went to go ask the girl if she thinks that too. who I still have yet to ask for her name, but as I made my way to the house, I saw a figure sprint from a tree I stopped in my tracks. I ran behind a tree and sat there till I saw the girl look for me, then I came from behind the tree while looking at where I saw the shadow. As I walked toward her, she was walking behind the house to see what I was looking at, but I stopped her, and before she said anything, I explained " I saw someone, I don't want you to go over there," as I looked into her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. “Let’s get in the house before the zombies come, or worse.” As we walked I kept my eyes on the woods surrounding us. Once we were there, I escorted her into the house while I checked behind me once we were in the house, I made a door and put some dirt behind it. Right at that moment I heard a hiss, and before I could get out, the ground exploded. I flew far from the house to a desert. I hit the ground with a thud and sand in the mouth. I got up and dusted myself off and surveyed my surrounding and found myself surrounded by mobs, so I sprinted for my life as an arrow whizzed past me.
Chapter #4 Supplies
I ran for something like wood or something I could, but the desert supplied me with none of that, and I realized that I would have to take this into my own hands. I hit a dead bush and got a stick and turned around and hit the nearest thing to me, which was a creeper I turned again and ran until I saw daylight. I had found a temple which I hid in. I punched the wool and made my way down to the chests. As I made my way down, I took some extra sand just in case, and once I was able to get in the chests and found a golden apple, Redstone dust, paper, and bones I took all of this. Just in case I needed them, I slowly made my way up and out of the temple. I walked until I saw the night approach, so I dug down a little bit and made a little cutout in the sand so I didn’t have to face the mobs again. It had been the morning by the time I dug myself out. When I got out I gazed upon the beautiful sunrise mobs were burning up in the sunlight and a couple of creepers and a spider or two I waited until I saw no more mods other than a creeper and the spiders I knew the spiders won’t hurt me but the creepers would. So I crouched and snuck behind the creeper and bumped into the spider, but all it did was make a hiss. I quickly turned around and to my surprise, the creeper was just standing there like nothing ever happened so I stayed crouched and walked a little further once I was a safe distance away I got up and made my way to the lights to the close village nearby. As I got there I saw no iron golem or villagers so I thought to myself that they were probably inside their houses as I walked past two of the houses I saw some spider webs and stained glass and realized that this is an abandoned village and found some iron with zombies everywhere and most of them had helmets so that was the reason they weren’t burning up. I had to find some supplies before I battled the zombies so I took as much stuff from the village that I could and put on some iron armor and got out an iron sword. I knew what the danger was if I died but I’m still going to do it. I made my way to where the zombies were and as I set foot in their sight they came after me. I jumped quickly when I touched the ground I had impaled the first zombie and threw it at another zombie and stabbed through both of them but when I thought it was getting better I saw an arrow hit my sword I looked up from the battle and mess I created to my right there was an evoker and a pillager with a crossbow I dashed for the nearest house and dove in. I heard arrows hitting the ground and the walls around me. I knew there was no way out, not unless I fight, so I drew my sword again just as a pillager walked in it distracted me from what it was really doing, it moved out of the doorway and to what I saw was an evoker about to hit I jumped up when I saw some teeth about to come and threw my sword at the pillager, who was trying to shoot me, and when I hit the ground I stole my sword back from the dead body of the pillager and chucked it at the evoker whether it hit or not I didn't care the only thing I wanted to do was get away from here. I made a wild dash out the door. I ran past the dead iron golem and stole the iron ingots from the illiger that had killed the iron golem. I ran as far away from the village as possible and looked behind me to see what the village had become. I hated the look of the burning town and all the villagers dying left and right. I guess I didn't see the villagers before and as I looked beyond there was another village already half-burnt. I wanted to rage and kill everything in sight, I decided not to because I only had an iron sword from the blacksmith. I turned my back to the village and walked toward the forest that was beyond the desert. As I walked I could tell that the sun was fading away and the moon was rising. I ran as fast as I could toward the forest. I didn’t want to get caught in the night fighting again. I could not afford to die, not here anyway. Once I got to the forest I could tell someone had been here because there had been a space cleared and there was wood missing in some of the trees plus there was a hole in the ground about 10 feet from me. I didn't know if this person set up traps or just left but either way, I held up my sword and started forward. I didn't find much after that only a cave that had some torches and no ores so that was a fact there was someone or something that lived here. I had camped out for a couple more days and then started to scavenge for food. It wasn't hard because there was a herd of pigs and cows. I made my way to them as they grazed and found a hole that led straight down. I had a pickaxe and hands so I dug down to the bottom. I found some iron but not much more. It was strange that there was a hole straight down and through the bedrock. I stayed for a couple of days in the forest then once the sun came up I strolled out of the forest dodging the occasional zombie or skeleton I almost blew up due to a creeper. It hadn't been long before I realized that a shadow Was a little out of my pace. It wasn't long before it disappeared from my sight. While I chased it I was kind of curious about what it would be like that there wasn't much that had Shadows around here other than living people. And if it was a person then it could very well be the girl that I rescued from the zombie not much long ago. I dashed as fast as I could. It had been a while after the explosion before I had heard of any other living thing other than villagers. At first, I had the thought that something bad had happened but that changed when I saw a huge herd of cows, pigs, and sheep along with some horses. With a sigh of relief, I dashed toward the cows to get some leather before they ran away. Just then the ground went out below me and I fell down in a dark musty area with Redstone lights going down a tunnel. The moment I stepped through the two-block tall gap I heard a tick and realized that the place was lined with pressure plates.
Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"
Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"