World jokes

You learn something new every day.

Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.

What is the biggest candy in the world?

Candy Borobudur.

W in Africa stands for water.

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."

Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!

What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!

Your mom's so fat, she doesn’t need internet, she’s already world wide.

Yo mama so fat, she meets every world leader there is!

lmao

Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!

I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.

Yo momma's so fat, when she gets an abortion, she can feed the entire country of Africa leftovers.

When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

What was the weather forecast when the planes hit the World Trade Center? Partly cloudy with scattered passengers!

What type of game is Africa playing at the moment?

The Hunger Games!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In this world of chaos, I find peace with you.

The term "every 60 seconds" is so stupid.

You know Africans don’t get seconds.

There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?

Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.

In Africa, in every 60 seconds, a minute passes.

Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.

"I built a big house for our mum," said the first.

"I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.

And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."

A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,

"The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."

To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."

To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"