World jokes
If I throw a paper airplane at two twins, did I cause 9/11?
What a world we live in. Now we’re making jokes about anorexic people.
What's the code thing on Minecraft that decides the world generation?
Seed?
Seedeeznuts!
During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval.
I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah.
Very seriously, I told the crowd, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.”
My friend was the only one who laughed.
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"
"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.
The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."
Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.
Ukraine vs. Russia is CS:GO live the movie!
Russia vs Ukraine be like that COD Modern Warfare mission. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why did Michael Jackson go to Sea World?
To free Willie.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because when they spawned in a Minecraft world, all they got was plains.
What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Feed the hungry with the hungry. It solves world hunger and overpopulation at once!
If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
"Rape[is] the only sign of world peace in this life."
Do you know what the "W" in Africa stands for? Water!
To all the little rude people here, fuck you. I didn't ruin this country, it was Putin!
Why aren't blind people in Brazil?
Because they can only read Braille. 🇧🇷 🙄
When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.