What is the thirstiest ocean in the world?
The Gulf of Mexico lol!
Why did half of the world go to hell?
Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.
(You've been warned!)
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stone’s throw away, in fact.
Your mum is so ugly that aliens don’t come here.
Why can't you tell anyone about space?
Because it's too out of this world!
What's Africa's greatest sporting achievement? The 2018 World Cup...
HEY! You guys need to S T O P making Stephen Hawking jokes. He has done so much for the theoretical physics world, and THIS is how you choose to repay him? All 653 of you should be ashamed of yourselves.
Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.
What's the difference between sand and food? Africans have plenty of sand.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.
Q: Why did the flat earther become gay?
A: He knows a thing or two about giving dome.
Q: Why did he eventually become asexual?
A: He doesn't believe in anything south of the border.
Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were on a falling airplane. There were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world,” so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually there are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”
Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!
Student: What's the best thing in the world?
Teacher: I don't know what.
Student: Hard rock cock.
My junk was in the book of world records until I got kicked out of the library.
What’s the world’s most diseased country?
GerMany.
People are making end of the world jokes, like there's no tomorrow.
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
It was September 10, 2001, when I stayed up watching TV shows.
I woke up late for work at The World Trade Center, but it was burning. I said out loud, "I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean... I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.
Joke 1) 9/11 was such a tragedy... Two drunk people drove a plane into a building.
Joke 2) If 6-2=4, why are there no more towers?
Joke 3) Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.
