Workout jokes
I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them don’t work out.
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.
He said the ATM outside.
Why did the pirate go to the gym?
To improve his booty strength!
My arm: "I'M GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT!"
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he never skipped a beat!
At gym class today, my friend made this song:
🎵 I’m a Barbie girl, I am fantastic, my boobs are plastic!
What is Jesus's favorite exercise?
Cross Fit.
When you're exercising and you feel the “gush.”
Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.
How does a booty stay in shape?
It works its glutes off!
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
Like if you think oily men are hot.
Hey, Tanya, can I Tanya ass?
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
Why is Jupiter so big? Because it works out!
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he dropped the mic and picked up weights!
There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbbells tables, but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up.
The manager then walked over to him and asked, "You're hogging the dumbbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!