Bro, are you an Oompa Loompa? Because you look like you just came from the chocolate factory.
Work Jokes
Orphan: Can I go outside?
Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.
Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
What's the difference between economy and Vietnamese?
Economy doesn't work.
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
It’s about drive, it’s about power, We stay hungry, we devour, Put in the work, put in hours, And take what’s ours.
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
I would make a joke about 9/11, but my career would crash and burn.
The Lenovo computers at school stopped working.
They had to call an archeologist.
Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?
A: Because when you're there, you're family.
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?
He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."
What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.
I lick poo for a living... You?
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
Be grateful:
You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.
Q. Why do Skeletons work hard?
A. 'Cause they want the BONEus.
What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?
Crack/her
