Work

Work jokes

Interview

Interviewer: What are your strengths?

Interviewee: I fall in love easily.

Interviewer: And your weaknesses?

Interviewee: Those beautiful green eyes of yours...

Orphan

Orphan: Can I go outside?

Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.

Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW

Eye

Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.

Economy

What's the difference between economy and Vietnamese?

Economy doesn't work.

Spaghetti

My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!

Drive

It’s about drive, it’s about power, We stay hungry, we devour, Put in the work, put in hours, And take what’s ours.

Orphan

Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?

Because it’s a family business.

Computer

The Lenovo computers at school stopped working.

They had to call an archeologist.

Orphan

Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?

A: Because when you're there, you're family.

Job

Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?

He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.

Mirror

Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.

Bully 2: Look in a mirror.

Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.

Wish

If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.

If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.

And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!

Head

We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."

Train

Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?

Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.