Work jokes
I work at a tire shop.
I'm pretty tired.
I have so many cash machine jokes.
But none of them seem to work ATM.
Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.
I have a joke about construction.
I'm still working on it.
Q. Why do Skeletons work hard?
A. 'Cause they want the BONEus.
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
I was working at Fredbear’s, but then I got bite of ‘83’d.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
What's the difference between economy and Vietnamese?
Economy doesn't work.
What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?
Panera Ned.
I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
Orphan: Can I go outside?
Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.
Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW
It’s about drive, it’s about power, We stay hungry, we devour, Put in the work, put in hours, And take what’s ours.
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
The Lenovo computers at school stopped working.
They had to call an archeologist.
I would make a joke about 9/11, but my career would crash and burn.
Interviewer: What are your strengths?
Interviewee: I fall in love easily.
Interviewer: And your weaknesses?
Interviewee: Those beautiful green eyes of yours...