Wordplay jokes
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.
Mom found a mirror in the garden and said, "I'll show you a real picture!"
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
What do you call a cutta with ginger hair?
Flinn Taylor.
What has more letters than the alphabet? -- The post office.
Q: What's a German's favorite Undertale character?
A: Gaster.
What do you call a donkey and a potato?
Assround
What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You can't beat a cheetah!
What do you call a sandwich 🥪 full of envy?
Peanut Butter n' Jealousy! 😂
I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'
I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'
I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'
What do you call a group of people who are interested in Nintendo monkeys?
A Kongregation.
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
What do you call an under-the-weather seven?
A sick seven.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
What is the difference between a man peering through the keyhole and a woman in the bath?
One is rude and nosy; the other is nude and Rosy.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).