Wordplay jokes

What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.

The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."

She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."

Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.

I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.

What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?

Lady fingers.

You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.

I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”

Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?

You pick it up off the street.

What do you call a horse rider with Down syndrome?

Down Quijote.

They are making a movie about clocks.

It’s about time.

A missionary was caught by cannibals. He was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."

What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?

The Devil's advocado.

Bend over and spell run.

What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE

What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?

Ketchup!

Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)

Two nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other, "I'm-a cashew!"

What did the two paintings say after a long battle?

Let's call this one a draw.

I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.