What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? Little skin flutes.
I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"
What’s the best time to commit suicide?
8 a’glock in the morning.
Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩⚕️?
Because he had a sour stomach.
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno.
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
What do you call 4 Mexicans stuck in quick sand?
Quatro Sinco.
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
What was the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Confucius say:
"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."
What has more letters than the alphabet? -- The post office.
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
What's a retard's favorite rock band? Syndrome of a Down.
