Wordplay jokes
What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain.
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
How do you think the unthinkable? An iceberg.
What is a nut that says, "What is your favorite name?"
A magic nut.
Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
Where were the first French Fries 🍟 made?
In Greece.
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
What do you call an expert fisherman?
A "MASTER-BAITER".
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder failure.
What do you call a man off the ground?
Hanged.
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
A missionary was caught by cannibals. He was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."
What made his beats so bad?
His name.
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.