I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Eileen.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
What happens at night in Bangladesh?
It gets Dhaka.
What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.
"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
What has more letters than the alphabet? -- The post office.
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? -- Just Juan.
What is Mozart doing right now? -- Decomposing.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
What is heavy forward but not backward?
"Ton."
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What's a ghost's favorite drink?
Ghoul-aid!
