Word jokes

What is a leaf mixed with mud called? Ligma.

Ligma balls!

Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”

Asshole.

I never forget my grandpa's last words.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

Q: Why is marriage not a word?

It's a life sentence!

The teacher asks me what my favourite word is.

I said it but got told off and sent to the principal.

What is my favourite word?

Gwen-Kind-Positive-Lends a Helping Hand- Stops Bullies- Does Most Helpful Work.

Addison Banks- Positive Voicing-Stops Hurtful Words.

ALYA-Powerful in Thought- Helps- But Sadly Is Gone.

Prince-Always Backed Up Gwen- But Sadly Is Gone Too.

Watersharky-Helps When Needed-Backs Up Anyone- Curses When Needed- Helps People Through Depression.

These Are The Legends, There Are More Out There You Could Be One Too Just Lend a Helping Hand.

Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.

Flat.

I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."

You can't spell "Funeral" without "fun."

Little Johnny was watching TV when he heard the TV say "bitch" and "bastard." He went over to his dad and said, "What is a bitch and bastard?" His dad looked at him surprised and said, "A bitch is a female, a bastard is a mailman." Johnny went back to the TV and heard them say "ass" and "shit," so he goes back to his dad and asks, "What shit and ass mean?" His dad says, "A shit is shaving cream like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat, why don't you bug your mom?" Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "fuck," so Johnny goes over to his mom and says to her, "What does fuck mean, mom?" She looks over at him and says, "Fuck means carving, like what I'm doing to this turkey!" A few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door. He walks over and answers it. He then says, "Welcome bitch and bastard, may I take your ass?" The people, looking horrified, then ask where his parents are. Johnny responds with, "My dad is putting shit on his face and my mom is fucking the turkey!"

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

My name has "anus" in it.

I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.

What name do you get if you mix the names Chris and Marisa?

Then you get the name Chrisa.

When a white person says the n word,

black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."

Knock knock. Who's there? Por que. Por que who? "That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.

My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."

What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?

"What does this button do...?"