Word jokes

Why isn’t the word “orphan” spelled with an “f” instead of “ph?” Because that “f” stands for “family,” and the word “orphan” doesn’t have a family.

I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."

I remember my uncle's last words:

"I don't think we're going shooting today."

I never forget my grandpa's last words.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the “P” is silent.

READ THIS OUT LOUD:

This is this cat.

This is cat.

This is how cat.

This is to cat.

This is keep cat.

This is an cat.

This is idiot cat.

This is a busy cat.

This is for cat.

This is forty cat.

this is seconds cat.

NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.

F in orphan means family.

What is heavy forward but not backward?

"Ton."

I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"

*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....

What came first? The chicken or the egg?

Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?

Who taught the first ever teacher?

If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?

In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?

Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?

How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?

The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?

Is it possible to cry underwater?

If two left handers have an argument, who is right?

I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O

I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."

gae

Girls Are Yummy Stupid

Are Really Erectable

Tasty Honey Ejaculable

Booty Everything Sucking Titties

Gays don't be mad, read the first letter of every word :D

What word starts with M and ends in RAGE? Miscarriage.

That joke never gets old... but neither does the baby...;)

If you say the word "gullible" slowly, it will sound like you're saying "orange."

So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.

So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”

The principal's office smells nice.

A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He went to his brother, who was playing with a Superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered "SUPERMAN!!!". Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said, "in the Barbie Dream House!" Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said, "Olé Olé Olé!!!". The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!", the teacher boomed. "Superman", the boy replied. "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!", the teacher continued. "In the Barbie Dream House" "GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!" "OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!", the boy chanted on his was down the hall.

I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.

Why can't two Asians have a white kid? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."