Word Jokes

my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen.

no witnessess

So one time I was looking up the definition of accident because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me, and points at the word and says, “That’s you!”(meaning that I was an accident) A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you. But we still love you with everything we’ve got.”

My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?

1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? - A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? - he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words... - “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance... - only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours... - lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A student asked a teacher how do you pronounce this word it's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D. The teacher was about to answer but then the student said, "actually I know how to pronounce it, I lied," (allied)

Why does new pavement smell like butt?

I other words you can also call it asphalt. Ass-phalt

How do you talk to giants? Using big words

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.

A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair. The man who controls the chair asks for any last words. The prisoner reply’s with: “Can you hold my hand?”

Boss: how good are you at powerpoint? Me: I Excel at it. Boss: Was that a microsoft pun? Me: Word

ill never forget my grandpas last words you need to park alittle closer

Once my twin brother died from a plane crash he’s last words were if its a bomb ill give it a 9/11

In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul. Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue. And he probably be lookin more blue than me

What is the other word for an orphan?

Paren’t.

A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one." The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.