Wont jokes

Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids, so I came and helped.

He won’t stand against the three of us!

While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they won't find anybody to call "daddy."

Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?

Just too bitter.

🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵

C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

Gotta dive and cry some more.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.

Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Your ass is clean because Randy won’t stop liking [it].

What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?

A stick.

Landing on its feet won't help a cat in China...

Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?

They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.

What’s the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?

The refrigerator won’t fart when you pull the meat out.

Why is an orphan afraid to play baseball?

They are afraid they won't find home.

Why can’t orphans be married?

Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.

Your mama is so ugly! Ghostface from Scream won't even make that call!

Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?

Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.

Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.

From your Dad.

I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.

Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.

Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.

Hey guys, it's Hailey here.

I'ma start off with henlo ;-;

I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.

So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.

Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.

I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.

Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;

This guy walks into a library one day and asks the librarian for a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian says, "F*** no, you won’t return it!"