Women jokes
What do women and Nvidia have in common?
They both do not make very good drivers.
What's the only time women are doing real work? When they are giving blow jobs.
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.
Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.
How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
Violence against women is funny :)
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"
Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.
Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"
A woman was in the Twin Towers. She orders a pepperoni pizza but got a plane pizza.
Why do women rub their eyebrows? They don't got balls to scratch!
The phrase “Muslim women live in one of the hottest countries in the world and they can’t even expose their legs” has two meanings.
How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.
Why are history teachers always women? Because they like to bring up the past.
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.