Wizard jokes
What do you call a wizard who uses Ice Magic? A: A Blizzard!
I am the grand wizard, mak.
I was Gandalf the Grey.
But now, after just three washes...
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
Harry Potter
Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"
Jumanji
Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."
A gay wizard went to a bar and disappeared with a poof!
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
What is the difference between a human and a magic house!?
A magic house š” can fly, and a human can walk.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.
What did Ron put in his diary?
I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
Hey girl, are you a wizard? Because you cast lit in my Final Fantasy!
So, if the reason people used to hang women was because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung, would they be called wizards?
What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!
What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
Why didnāt Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledoreās army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."
When you mix a wizard, a rabbit, and a songwriter together, you get 24 carrot magic.