What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.
What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"
What do you call a rapper who's also a MAGICIAN?
MC Illusion
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie character?
Harry Potter.
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.
"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?
Hairy Potter.
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?
One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
Draco Malfoy had a wand fight in the bathroom.
Damn, didn't know this site was about Harry Pot-
What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!
How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?
Go through the dumbbell door.
Master has given Dobby a Glock. Dobby is Thug.
Comment and join Dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck.
Harry Potter is now Harry Orphan.
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, "If I can surprise you, I get a free drink." The bartender was unsure but agreed.
The guy pulled a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket, and he starts to play.
The bartender was surprised and gave the guy a free drink.
The guy then says, "You see, I have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes. Can I get another free drink if you get a free wish?"
The bartender agrees without hesitation.
The bartender wishes for 1000 bucks, but he gets 1000 ducks.
"WTF!" the man shouts.
The guy answered, "Did you think I wanted a 30cm long pianist?"
Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?
Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
Harry Potter has an invisibility cloak, I have family.
What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?
When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."
What do you call a wizard who uses Ice Magic? A: A Blizzard!
