Wizard jokes

How did Harry Potter get down the hill?

Running, JK rolling!

What do you call a magic owl?

HOOdini

What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?

Fetus Deletus!

Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.

How did Voldemort lose his nose?

From uncontrolled Gold Mining!

Voldemort: Knock, knock.

Harry Potter: Who's there?

Voldemort: You know.

Harry Potter: You know who?

Voldemort: Exactly!