There once was a woman who had 10 kids their names where: Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One'Hundred Everyone but Ninety died, she also had 10 kids. These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing, they had him for 2 years. Until he got hit by a car. Only Ninety's kids know about this.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
Read more: 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
Have you seen the Woody Allen v Mia Farrow series on HBO? If you like details about child molestation without having to do it yourself, boy do I have the show for you!
What do you call a Mexican without a car? -Carlos
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
Son: Mom whats dark humor? Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? tell him to clap Son: mom i'm blind Mom: Exactly
Man: okay tell me a joke without the expense of anyone's feelings. Me: okay so an Asian...
All the traffic stoping the cars, how do you spell that without any R’s.
THAT
What hates men but would have no life without men? A triggered feminist.
what do you call a cow without any legs......... ground beef
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What do you call a cat with two legss instead of four Dead and without use that's what I feel like
What should you name a dog without any legs? It doesn't really matter. No matter what you yell he's not coming.
Q: What do you call a little girl without arms and legs?
A: Names
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Hi guys! Ello here! So I am determined to get as many people as possible to like my jokes nad comment. So, without further ado, here goes nothing! So I have been looking at all your jokes. And UHHHHHH has not been the nicest.... I don't really love the words she is choosing. But I'm not going to let her get in my head :) So guys make sure that you like and comment! Love y'all!!!!! :D
Day 70 without s3x my doctor asked me “are you s3xually active?” I said “why what u tryna do?”
A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back... The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.
Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.
A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”
“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”
What did the make-a-wish kid say when the avengers turn up without tony stark? "We are in the endgame now"
I was absolutely fuming when i found out my mate was rifling through my mums knicker draw
No one goes in there without my permission
