Without jokes

What does a blind man and your dick have in common?

They both can’t get up without a dog.

Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?

Because their dad never came home from the store.

How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?

Tell them a joke to make them smile.

I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.

Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.

So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"

The view is so much better without those twins covering the city.

Well, that was a blow up!

A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."

What do you call a fish without an eye? Fsh.

Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"

They replied, "I don’t know."

I said, "Fsh."

A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.

When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"

God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."

A man walks into a bar with an alligator. He says to the bartender, "I have a deal, if I can hold my dick in the alligator's mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink." And so the bartender agreed.

The man, like he said, had his dick in the alligator's mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. He made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. Sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. Then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. He did it and drank his drinks. Then he said to the amazed crowd, "Would anyone like to volunteer?" One man raised his hand. He walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "Just a warning, I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long."

If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:

1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?

2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?

3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?

4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?

5. Was this funny?

What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.

Yo mama so fat, she went to the moon without leaving Earth.

It is a known fact that you cannot say “harassment” without “her ass.”

I guess you could say, “harassment something.”

(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?

Kid 2: Never leave home without it.

If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.

When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.

Did you get seafood without me?