Wife

Wife jokes

Add joke

Say, Aiden, are you and Gwen dating? Oooo, you and her sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G., then comes the romance, then comes engagement, then comes the wedding, and then the baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Then comes cheating and arguments, and then D.I.V.O.R.C.E.!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aiden + Gwen = Husband and wife! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Girlfriend and boyfriend!!!!!!!!

Digga D, I'm a well known bandit, bandit. Had a new mash, just landed. Jheez, cop it, chop it, sand it, hand it. The verbal ting I can't stand it. Wife and two, got tanned when I banged it. Mad ting. Got a conspiracy case in the silliest Place, they're saying that I planned it, damn it. Back on a Feltham landing. You ain't been in the hood like Robin. I ride in hoods tryna leave man red (Crud). The sweets are goldy, yola drops and lots of dred (Maud). No porkies, pepper them pigeons, they chase this ped. Gyal tryna give man noddy, She ain't got balls in her tongue that's dead.

Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?

Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.

Farmer's Wife: Why?

Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.

On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.

And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"

It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.

JFK's wife trying to grab his head be like "him in heaven." Why did I marrei her? Welp, time for a devorsin'.

What did the cell phone say to his wife?

"I will give you a ring."

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands money.

Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."

The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"

  • 8

    • A man comes home and hears his wife talking about having sex at the club. The man busts into the club with a revolver and says, "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE?" Well, everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets."

    Doctor: Hands husband his baby.

    Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.

    Husband: Then give me the one she made.

    The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

    So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.

    20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.

    My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.