A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and says, "Who the fuck's been fucking my wife?" The room goes silent. The guy in the back finishes his beer and says, "You ain't got enough bullets."
Say aiden are you and Gwen dating? oooo u and her sitting in a tree K.I.S.S.I.N.G then comes the romance then comes engagement then comes the wedding and then the baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Then comes cheating and arguments and then D.I.V.O.R.C.E!!!!!!!!!!!! Aiden + Gwen= Husban and wife! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Girlfriend and boyfriend!!!!!!!!
Digga D, I'm a well known bandit, bandit Had a new mash, just landed Jheez, cop it, chop it, sand it, hand it The verbal ting I can't stand it Wife and two, got tanned when I banged it Mad ting Got a conspiracy case in the silliest Place, they're saying that I planned it, damn it Back on a Feltham landing You ain't been in the hood like Robin I ride in hoods tryna leave man red (Crud) The sweets are goldy, yola drops and lots of dred (Maud) No porkies, pepper them pigeons, they chase this ped Gyal tryna give man noddy, She ain't got balls in her tongue thats dead
Farmer's Wife: Honey where are the cow's?
Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.
Farmer's Wife: Why?
I don't know but the stakes have never been higher.
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
One day I told my wife that she drew her I brows too high,
She looked surprised.
And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said "Are you going to ask for directions or what?".
It's getting near midnight and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
jfk wife trying to grab his head be like him in haven why did i marrei her welp time for a devorsin
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Why didnt the wife want sex?
BECAUSE THEY WERE HAVING TO MANY BABIES.
What did the cell phone say to his wife? i will give you a ring
What does a wife and a boombox have in common? They only work when you beat them
A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."
The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"
What do you call a Hippie's Wife? A. Mississippi.
A man comes home and hears her wife talking about having sex at the club, the man busts into the club with a revolver and says "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE" well everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says "mate you don't have enough bullets"
Doctor: Hands husband his baby Doctor: Im sorry but your wife didn't make it Husband: The give me the one she made
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
so i was asleep and woke up and went to work my wife left already to her job i was driving my car and ran over someone i woke up in my bed realized it was all a dream 20 minutes later i got a phone call the my wife got hit bye a car