Why jokes
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny.
Why can't blind people fish?
Because it was "see food."
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
Why did the carrots laugh?
They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
Why don't some people like pennies?
Because it's common cents.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because there's too many jokes about Sally.
Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?
The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.
Why couldn’t the orphan play baseball?
Because he didn’t know where home was.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't.
Why are women like diapers?
They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap? They’re all dead.
Everyone says "no homo," why do gays not say "no hetero?"
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
Why did the baseball player get arrested? He tried to steal third.
So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.