Why jokes
Why did my wife leave me?
I wish I knew.
Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...
A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"
"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"
They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"
"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"
Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
Because dead babies make the best chum! :)
A girl walks into the church and confesses.
Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
Priest: "How have you sinned, may I ask?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call a man a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "He held my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (He holds the girl's hand.)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That does not explain why you called a man a bitch."
Girl: "He started taking off my clothes."
Priest: "Like this?" (He takes off the girl's clothes.)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That also doesn't explain why you called the man a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off his clothes and put his you know what into my you know what."
Priest: "Like this?" (He puts his you know what into her you know what.)
Girl: "Yes, Father! Yes, Father!"
Priest: "Then what?"
Girl: "Then he got up and left me naked."
Priest: "That son of a bitch!"
Why did the priest want to learn how to play the organ?
He wanted to be able to finger A minor.
Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?
Because they have already lost 2 towers.
Why does a very tall man allow dwarfs to take turns to suck his balls?
Because he is nuts about them!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why did the rape victim cross the road?
Because she was a chicken!
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Why do you make fun of disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.
Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.
Why doesn't Batman need Robin as a wingman?
Because he has no problem robbin' your girl.
Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.
Why can't gay people play Baseball? They can't throw the ball straight.
Why did Bob go to the store? To bob for apples.
One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.