Why jokes
There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes.
When she got the puppy, he was nice, but the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play Barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food, you know.” The parents only answered with “Oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy...he won’t need feeding for years.”
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
Why can't Americans trade with other countries? We lost the trading center!
Why don't Romans find algebra fun?
X is always ten.
Why did half of the world go to hell?
Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.
(You've been warned!)
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."😳
Why can't orphans have sex?
They do not have anyone to call "daddy."
This is a Cuphead joke.
Why did the clown drive over the cup? Cuz he wanted to CRACK him up!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's door.
Knock, knock!
It's the chicken.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
Why did the blind man fall into the well?
He couldn’t see that well.
Why did Karen leave me?
Because I was a mushroom.
Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?
Because she wanted to join the Brownies.
Do you know why in France there is a cheese named "fromage à râpe?"
Because the cheese got raped.
A man sits in a bar and gets seriously drunk to the point where he vomits on his shirt. He panics.
The bartender asked, "What's wrong, sir?"
The man replies, "I got drunk and vomited, my wife will kill me."
The bartender says, "Put $20 in the shirt and say someone puked on you and they paid you for the wash."
So the man walks out with the $20 he put in his shirt pocket. The next day, the wife said, "Why is there vomit on your shirt?"
The man says, "Someone puked on me and gave me $20 bucks for the wash."
The wife pulls out the money. "There is $40," says the wife.
"Oh, he also peed on me and paid for the wash, too." The man walks away believing he didn't get caught by his wife.
Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"
Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."
The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."
The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"
Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.
Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?
A: He thought they tasted funny.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he doesn't know where home is.